In taking revenge, a man is but even with his enemy; in passing it over, he is superior.

- Sir Francis bacon

et's talk about something unpleasant: the unethical people doing business within our industry. Unfortunately, this is a topic many of us know all too well.

Many a sharp agent has been shortchanged by a one-sided residual program, misled by a deceptive contract or simply lied to.

The goal of this article is not to identify errant individuals or suggest how to remedy or punish them. Plenty of Web sites, blogs and message boards address those concerns. Instead, here is a suggestion to anyone who's been burned: Move on.

It may sound harsh. Depending on how fresh your wound, it may even seem impossible. You are most likely angry, agitated, fuming and looking for some retribution or at least someone to blame. You want what's coming to you _ and rightly so.

Your feelings are valid. Ethical business practices mandate that you be compensated fairly. But that doesn't mean you will be. Chances are you will never see what you believe is rightfully yours.

Let it go

So, allow yourself a little time to let off steam, mourn the loss of cash (and a bit of faith in humankind), and move on.

Why? Clinging to negative feelings doesn't help. It does you harm.

You can't attain your dreams if you're focused on getting even. You may be thinking, "That's exactly what they want. They want me to give up, so they can brush me under the rug."

But there comes a time when you must learn from the past and move toward the future. Consider the following:

• What benefit does repeatedly getting angry offer you? You can stew and work out different payback scenarios. But in the end, will you get what you are looking for?
• What are you gaining by keeping a mental list of the wrongs done to you?
• Are you contemplating legal action? You might win the case, but at what financial and emotional cost?

Turn it around

This is not to say you shouldn't take what you've experienced and use it for some good. Turn this negative experience into something positive: a lesson.

Here are some suggestions:

• Think about what you could have done differently, and do that next time.
• Reflect upon the experience. See if there were times when your intuition tried to send up red flags that you couldn't or wouldn't see. Next time, listen to yourself.
• Did you have a moment when you thought, "I really should get this in writing, but I don't want to offend anyone"? Now you know, better to offend than get burned.

Take preventive action

Another way to gain something positive from a harmful experience is to let your peers know what happened to you. Maybe it will help them avoid similar trauma.

Also, if you are in a position to take other preventive steps, do so.

While no one can eliminate unethical practices, you can improve or amend your processes to help protect your business.

Revise contracts or add legal language to agreements that will make it difficult for miscreants to take advantage of you.

We all want to be treated with respect. By now, however, we've all learned the toughest lesson of all: Life is not fair.

If you've been misled, don't dwell on it. Allow yourself a bit of time to rant. Next, appreciate the wisdom you've gained from the situation. Then chalk it up to experience, and move on.