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Education
The science behind it
Humans are social animals, having lived in some form
of tribes for our entire history as a species. Once upon a
time, rejection from the group could literally have deadly
consequences; being forced to walk the land alone held
immediate risks. Because of this, our brains became hard
wired to feel social and emotional pain as a true threat to
our being.
A recent article in Psychology Today reported that rejection
destabilizes one's feeling of "belonging to the group";
MRIs show the same areas of the brain becoming active
when people experience rejection as when they experience
physical pain. Even worse, the human brain catalogs social
pain in a more retrievable way.
Rejection: Think back to a time when you may have been injured,
perhaps broken a bone or even just stubbed your toe. You
The self-fulfilling can likely think to yourself, "Yep, that hurt." Now, consider
instead a time you had your heart broken. You will likely
feel an overwhelming tsunami of emotion come crashing
prophecy over you, as though you were right back in that moment.
Misplaced blame
By Benjamin Abel The same article reported that when someone experiences
Bank Associates Merchant Services rejection, regardless of the actual reasoning behind the
decision, the rejected party internalizes the blame. He or
t was the fall of 1998, and Chicago Cubs slugger she views the act as a rejection of himself or herself as an
Sammy Sosa stepped to the plate. He was in the individual, laying waste to the person's self-esteem.
midst of a race against Mark McGwire to break the
I single season home run record, but his goal was in The batter in a slump tells himself he is unable to hit a home
jeopardy. In the last few games he had been struggling. He run, even though he still has the physical capability to do
had gone 17 at-bats without even getting on base, forget so. This type of phenomenon was tested by participants
about hitting a home run. in a speed dating experiment who were being rejected
by insiders. The subjects would enter into a cycle of self-
Had Sammy gotten weaker or become a worse player? doubt as the experiment continued, with each following
Doubtful. In big-league baseball a slump is typically a attempt made with less enthusiasm and a more sullen
mental issue, not a physical one. It's not that the player tone. Even after having been told the experiment was
is unable to perform in the way he once did, something rigged, participants expressed that that knowledge did
psychological is preventing him from doing so. Maybe little to alleviate their hurt feelings.
he blew a big game or struck out when he knew he could
have played better – and he started to doubt himself when So how do you, as an MLS, keep from withdrawing into a
picking up the bat. protective cocoon after you strike out five times in a row?
The MLS at bat Several things can be done, but it all starts with the outlook
you bring to the situation. Every sale is unique and cannot
In sales, something similar can happen. You make a few be approached in the context of the ones before it.
calls, they all go terribly; then you reach for the phone and
say to yourself, "This guy is probably going to hang up on In baseball it's called "Major League Memory." This means
me." And what do you know – that's just what he does. every time a pro steps to the plate he doesn't think back or
consider any other time he's stood there. It's all about that
Have you suddenly become a worse merchant level one attempt, that one swing, that one sale. And if your
salesperson (MLS), unable to achieve even the most basic confidence flags in that moment, you're soon out of the
of commitments from a merchant? Doubtful. In sales, game.
rejection is part of the process. For some salespeople,
though, continual rejection can create a self-fulfilling A positive perspective
prophecy with the potential to cripple production. Only While it may be difficult to brush off past rejections and
by better understanding how you process and react to this missed opportunities, you can take a few mental notes to
rejection can you prevent it from making such an impact reinforce a positive perspective.
in your sales ability.
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48
The science behind it
Humans are social animals, having lived in some form
of tribes for our entire history as a species. Once upon a
time, rejection from the group could literally have deadly
consequences; being forced to walk the land alone held
immediate risks. Because of this, our brains became hard
wired to feel social and emotional pain as a true threat to
our being.
A recent article in Psychology Today reported that rejection
destabilizes one's feeling of "belonging to the group";
MRIs show the same areas of the brain becoming active
when people experience rejection as when they experience
physical pain. Even worse, the human brain catalogs social
pain in a more retrievable way.
Rejection: Think back to a time when you may have been injured,
perhaps broken a bone or even just stubbed your toe. You
The self-fulfilling can likely think to yourself, "Yep, that hurt." Now, consider
instead a time you had your heart broken. You will likely
feel an overwhelming tsunami of emotion come crashing
prophecy over you, as though you were right back in that moment.
Misplaced blame
By Benjamin Abel The same article reported that when someone experiences
Bank Associates Merchant Services rejection, regardless of the actual reasoning behind the
decision, the rejected party internalizes the blame. He or
t was the fall of 1998, and Chicago Cubs slugger she views the act as a rejection of himself or herself as an
Sammy Sosa stepped to the plate. He was in the individual, laying waste to the person's self-esteem.
midst of a race against Mark McGwire to break the
I single season home run record, but his goal was in The batter in a slump tells himself he is unable to hit a home
jeopardy. In the last few games he had been struggling. He run, even though he still has the physical capability to do
had gone 17 at-bats without even getting on base, forget so. This type of phenomenon was tested by participants
about hitting a home run. in a speed dating experiment who were being rejected
by insiders. The subjects would enter into a cycle of self-
Had Sammy gotten weaker or become a worse player? doubt as the experiment continued, with each following
Doubtful. In big-league baseball a slump is typically a attempt made with less enthusiasm and a more sullen
mental issue, not a physical one. It's not that the player tone. Even after having been told the experiment was
is unable to perform in the way he once did, something rigged, participants expressed that that knowledge did
psychological is preventing him from doing so. Maybe little to alleviate their hurt feelings.
he blew a big game or struck out when he knew he could
have played better – and he started to doubt himself when So how do you, as an MLS, keep from withdrawing into a
picking up the bat. protective cocoon after you strike out five times in a row?
The MLS at bat Several things can be done, but it all starts with the outlook
you bring to the situation. Every sale is unique and cannot
In sales, something similar can happen. You make a few be approached in the context of the ones before it.
calls, they all go terribly; then you reach for the phone and
say to yourself, "This guy is probably going to hang up on In baseball it's called "Major League Memory." This means
me." And what do you know – that's just what he does. every time a pro steps to the plate he doesn't think back or
consider any other time he's stood there. It's all about that
Have you suddenly become a worse merchant level one attempt, that one swing, that one sale. And if your
salesperson (MLS), unable to achieve even the most basic confidence flags in that moment, you're soon out of the
of commitments from a merchant? Doubtful. In sales, game.
rejection is part of the process. For some salespeople,
though, continual rejection can create a self-fulfilling A positive perspective
prophecy with the potential to cripple production. Only While it may be difficult to brush off past rejections and
by better understanding how you process and react to this missed opportunities, you can take a few mental notes to
rejection can you prevent it from making such an impact reinforce a positive perspective.
in your sales ability.
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